[Homeroast] OT: The Loss of my Best Friend

raymanowen at gmail.com raymanowen at gmail.com
Sat Oct 9 13:57:17 CDT 2010


Lynne-

While the stated purpose of this list is specifically the home roasting of
green coffee, it's not just a "crib sheet" for people wanting to know what
button to push so their roaster will roast. Among friends with a common
hobby, it's not just a "choose from this list of words," and [these
thoughts] that make the Chairman happy.

I remember the last ride to the vet with Harvey, our snow white lop house
rabbit. With every bone in my body, I desperately wanted to turn the Damn
Bronco around, head back home and let Harvey out the back door for another
launch off the back porch into some soft grass or deep soft snow.

Wasn't going to happen- the spectacular leaps across the yard had
disintegrated some vertebrae. It was the end of the line for Harvey, so he
was going in for the needle. I had to steel myself as I held Harvey against
my ear and heard his respiration and heart beat fade away. What could I have
done? We're supposed to be stewards of the little critters. Shit Shit Shit!

Rong word list- sorry  -ro

On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 7:05 AM, michael brown <disracer at msn.com> wrote:

>
> I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.I worked 5yrs as a tech at an
> emergency animal clinic. it was never easy, and we had to deal with those
> kinds of decisions with owners several times, every shift.In my experience,
> i've experienced the most intense growth in times of pain and tribulations.I
> do believe its important to reach out, lean, and share with all your
> networks and communities.
>
> > From: lynnebiz at gmail.com
> > Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2010 00:29:08 -0400
> > To: homeroast at lists.sweetmariascoffee.com
> > Subject: [Homeroast] OT:  The Loss of my Best Friend
> >
> > Been going through a lot these days, and just feel like I need to share
> with
> > my
> > homeroast family. Please forgive me for the departure from
> > coffee-conversation.
> >
> > This year has really sucked big time (can I say that on the list? - well,
> it
> > *has*) Before
> > Easter, (in fact, the day before my birthday) a dear friend of mine,
> someone
> > I've known
> > for almost 30 yrs, passed away. (It was due to the injuries fr a car
> > accident - but she'd
> > been recently diagnosed w/Alzheimers, so it was a bittersweet blessing,
> of
> > sorts - she
> > didn't suffer for long). I was still in shock when I heard the news that
> she
> > had passed -
> > and then -
> >
> > Well, then my ex-boyfriend (despite our differences, we remained friends
> and
> > spoke daily)
> > passed away shortly after his doctor at the VA told him they suspected he
> > had leukemia.
> > It was like the blink of an eye - leukemia is certainly lacking in
> kindness,
> > sneaking up on
> > people and not giving them enough time to realize what is to come...
> >
> >
> > Then a couple of wks ago, my ex-husband (who had cancer for many years)
> > passed on - lots
> > of memories, good and not-so-good, all mixed up for myself and my four
> > now-adult children
> > (amazing kids, I must say); we've felt a terrible loss there, no matter
> what
> > we'd gone through
> > years ago.
> >
> > But the final thorn was this past week - my dear, sweet Shiloh, my pal,
> my
> > heart-of-my-heart,
> > who had so many health issues for so long, took a turn literally
> overnight
> > (had no sleep, as I
> > stayed up with him all night long). He was part Border Collie, maybe part
> > Bernese Mountain dog
> > and maybe some retriever - and def. part human. We took him to the vet
> > immediately when they
> > opened on Wed morning - she treated him for an ear infection, but gently
> let
> > us know that she
> > suspected cancer. He was totally blind, she said (explained why he was
> > bumping into us & the
> > wall the night before), and she felt the source was something very
> serious.
> > He had also lost his
> > hearing some time before - to compensate, I was using touch to
> communicate &
> > comfort him.
> > When he'd have a particularly anxious night, he'd sit next to me & I'd
> pet
> > him nearly constantly
> > while I was at the computer, or would give him rub downs, gentle so as
> not
> > to aggrevate what
> > we thought was arthritis in is hind legs. I thought he was experiencing
> > canine cognitive dysfunction -
> > doggie dementia - since he was 12 1/2 yrs old, but it was much worse.
> >
> > We (my son was w/me the whole time, thank heaven above, as I don't know
> how
> > I would have
> > handled it alone) took him home, and he was never able to stand up again,
> > despite his constantly
> > trying.
> >
> > That evening, I had no choice but to make that horrible decision, since
> his
> > condition progressed
> > so rapidly - and he was suffering so much. At least my he's not suffering
> > anymore.
> >
> > Anyone who has ever felt close to an animal of any kind - you know.
> >
> > I know I'll be fine - it'll take some time, I'm sure. Tried to prepare
> > myself for this, for a couple of years
> > now, but you know, you just can't prepare for this, no matter what. You
> just
> > have to accept.
> >
> > I'm having my time crying, off and on. Tomorrow I'll get up, take my Emma
> > and Sammy for a walk,
> > then after I make my moka pot of homeroast, I'll spend some time cuddling
> my
> > two guys (guy & gal,
> > actually), just like I did today - and I'll thank God he brought these
> two
> > in my life.
> >
> > Then I'll try to get busy, which is a darn good medicine at times like
> this,
> > so I won't notice the pain in
> > my heart too much.
> >
> > --
> > *"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
> "
> >
> > Anatole France*
> > _______________________________________________
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>
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-- 
Persist in old ways; expect new results - suborn Insanity...


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