[Homeroast] OT: The Loss of my Best Friend

Sandy Andina sandraandina at mac.com
Sat Oct 9 02:02:16 CDT 2010


Lynne,
So sorry to hear of all your losses, especially your latest.  The decision to let a suffering trusted and trusting animal companion move on to the next world is always a wrenching one; but know that it is always the right decision. It doesn't get any easier each time--but the memories do gather and grow.
On Oct 8, 2010, at 11:29 PM, Lynne wrote:

> Been going through a lot these days, and just feel like I need to share with
> my
> homeroast family. Please forgive me for the departure from
> coffee-conversation.
> 
> This year has really sucked big time (can I say that on the list? - well, it
> *has*) Before
> Easter, (in fact, the day before my birthday) a dear friend of mine, someone
> I've known
> for almost 30 yrs, passed away. (It was due to the injuries fr a car
> accident - but she'd
> been recently diagnosed w/Alzheimers, so it was a bittersweet blessing, of
> sorts - she
> didn't suffer for long). I was still in shock when I heard the news that she
> had passed -
> and then -
> 
> Well, then my ex-boyfriend (despite our differences, we remained friends and
> spoke daily)
> passed away shortly after his doctor at the VA told him they suspected he
> had leukemia.
> It was like the blink of an eye - leukemia is certainly lacking in kindness,
> sneaking up on
> people and not giving them enough time to realize what is to come...
> 
> 
> Then a couple of wks ago, my ex-husband (who had cancer for many years)
> passed on - lots
> of memories, good and not-so-good, all mixed up for myself and my four
> now-adult children
> (amazing kids, I must say); we've felt a terrible loss there, no matter what
> we'd gone through
> years ago.
> 
> But the final thorn was this past week - my dear, sweet Shiloh, my pal, my
> heart-of-my-heart,
> who had so many health issues for so long, took a turn literally overnight
> (had no sleep, as I
> stayed up with him all night long). He was part Border Collie, maybe part
> Bernese Mountain dog
> and maybe some retriever - and def. part human. We took him to the vet
> immediately when they
> opened on Wed morning - she treated him for an ear infection, but gently let
> us know that she
> suspected cancer. He was totally blind, she said (explained why he was
> bumping into us & the
> wall the night before), and she felt the source was something very serious.
> He had also lost his
> hearing some time before - to compensate, I was using touch to communicate &
> comfort him.
> When he'd have a particularly anxious night, he'd sit next to me & I'd pet
> him nearly constantly
> while I was at the computer, or would give him rub downs, gentle so as not
> to aggrevate what
> we thought was arthritis in is hind legs. I thought he was experiencing
> canine cognitive dysfunction -
> doggie dementia - since he was 12 1/2 yrs old, but it was much worse.
> 
> We (my son was w/me the whole time, thank heaven above, as I don't know how
> I would have
> handled it alone) took him home, and he was never able to stand up again,
> despite his constantly
> trying.
> 
> That evening, I had no choice but to make that horrible decision, since his
> condition progressed
> so rapidly - and he was suffering so much. At least my he's not suffering
> anymore.
> 
> Anyone who has ever felt close to an animal of any kind - you know.
> 
> I know I'll be fine - it'll take some time, I'm sure. Tried to prepare
> myself for this, for a couple of years
> now, but you know, you just can't prepare for this, no matter what. You just
> have to accept.
> 
> I'm having my time crying, off and on. Tomorrow I'll get up, take my Emma
> and Sammy for a walk,
> then after I make my moka pot of homeroast, I'll spend some time cuddling my
> two guys (guy & gal,
> actually), just like I did today - and I'll thank God he brought these two
> in my life.
> 
> Then I'll try to get busy, which is a darn good medicine at times like this,
> so I won't notice the pain in
> my heart too much.
> 
> -- 
> *"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "
> 
> Anatole France*
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Peace & song, 
Sandy 
www.sandyandina.com






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